another theory i have about this is that men don’t have that much to be self conscious about so all that self scrutiny gets directed at their dicks. whereas women are socialized to be self conscious about every detail of their physical beings from their hair to their toe nails, guys aren’t socialized to care about their bodies as much so they reroute their self consciousness to their dicks.
stop worrying about your dick so much, no one cares except the girls/guys that have to come in contact with it.
1. "You got a promotion! That’s adorable.” Unless you work at a baby kitten factory, and it therefore is literally adorable, this is not acceptable behavior.
2.“You’re so cool, how are you still single?” Because my Coolness is an ever-expanding supernova, enveloping and destroying every potential mate in its path, that’s why. Fuckface.
3. “You’re not like the hot but totally crazy girls I date.” Translation: “You’re not one of those passionate, smoldering, exciting ‘Have an argument about politics that segues into awesome Mr. And Mrs. Smith angry sex up against a wall’ girls I will remember for my entire life. You’re more the “Hey sweetie, can you pick up my Preparation H on the way home from work?” type.
4. “You have such a pretty face!” But I want to throw holy water on the rest of your hideous body, you disgusting beautiful-headed demon-woman.
5. “You look healthy, I love your curves.” If you have solid self-confidence, this is a regular (and awesome) compliment. If you’re conscious of your weight, this is like your heart being metaphorically nut-cracked between Nicki Minaj’s buttcheeks.
6. “You look so great I didn’t even recognize you!” “As opposed to the snaggle-toothed feral child I steel myself to see when we make plans to hang.”
7. “You’re a good driver for a woman.” Weird, because I am steering with my vagina, just like all the other women do.
8. “You finally look as good as you did when I first met you!”
9. “Really? You don’t look like you would [watch Scorsese movies] [enjoy NASCAR racing] [be good at fantasy football.]” You don’t look like someone who enjoys being called Miss Lucy in public. Oh, you don’t? Why not, Miss Lucy?
10. “I love that I don’t have to try around you” Cool, next time we go out to dinner why don’t you wear old man sweatpants and roll around in human waste and fart at the table.
11. “You’re pretty for a [black/Latina/Asian/overweight/Jewish/etc.] girl.” KMS. Actually, no — KYS.
12. “I don’t even think of you as a girl.” That’s because I’m not. I’m just wearing a full-body girl suit. I’ve actually been a huge ferret this whole time.
13. “You’re single because you’re too picky.” “You should aim more on your level, like the crazy guy who hangs out outside the local YMCA trying to smoke discarded cigarette butts.”
14. “You look so cute with straight hair!” I’m glad I have to get a $70 blowout from a severe Serbian woman who rips half my hair out to be considered attractive to you.
15. “You’re not the wifing-up type.” Thus marginalizing you to the category of “chill sex buddy” or “woman I call when my wife is out of town.” (But has he seen your hair straight yet!!?! *jumps off bridge*)
16. “You look so great on Instagram.” That “fix my ugly-ass face” filter works wonders, huh.
17. “I like how you’re not obsessed with how you look.” Actually it takes me hours to look like I don’t give a shit about how I look, but thanks.
Few of these examples do not bother me, & I take them as a real compliment, the rest not so much. By Anna Breslaw for Cosmopolitan Magazine (Online)
PREACH! Missy definitely has the fucking crown with music videos (besides MJ). Her videos always had the hip hop fashion, the special effects, the fucking CHOREOGRAPHY. Mind you how many RAPPERS, male or female, have kids in their videos? Most of the time it's just ass shaking and nowadays it's coming from the female rappers themselves to hide the fact that you couldn't come up with a video concept oh but Missy shows you TALENT and VISION. I could watch her shit today and still be amazed! —by prisonerofchildhoodmemories